Flawed by Design
by DimiGex
Summary: "This is my duty," Sasuke finally answers. His eyes are focused beyond the cold window pane, filled with the inky darkness of the night sky and stars. He's lived in those shadows for so long that they feel more like home than Konoha.


**Author's Disclaimer: **If you're new to my writing please don't expected to see a ton of SasuSaku stories from me. Honestly, until about five minutes ago, this one was titled SasuSaku WTF lol But I've wanted to write it for a while because I want a more human Sasuke that I could understand.

**Note:** Title comes from the song Heart Attack by The Veer Union. Enjoy!

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The air feels like it's being sucked out of the room, but Sasuke pretends that he doesn't need it. He's always been able to be something he's not, for as long as he can remember. Somehow, Sakura's voice is louder for his silence. Every step that he's ever taken has been a mistake. And, it hurts, aches in a way that the rage and bitterness has never been able to fill. Sasuke could turn, could drop the walls low enough for Sakura to climb over them, except that he can't. If he lets them crumble now-

"How can you do this again?" Sakura sounds defeated, the tone so familiar that it makes Sasuke want to shatter.

"This is my duty," Sasuke finally answers. His eyes are focused beyond the cold window pane, filled with the inky darkness of the night sky and stars. He's lived in those shadows for so long that they feel more like home than Konoha.

Sakura scoffs. "Your duty looks a lot like running away."

Sasuke swallows the flippant response on the tip of his tongue. He's already presented that argument to Naruto, and the lies come as easily as the truth now. Hell, maybe it is the truth. He can't afford to examine the emotion long enough to be sure.

Weight crashes into Sasuke's back, almost driving him to his knees. He stumbles forward two steps. The warmth surprises him, threatens to shatter the dam that he's painstakingly built over the past five years. For one aching moment, he closes his eyes and lets it be enough. Then, reality crashes in like a tidal wave, memories sharp enough to bloody his fingers if he holds them too long.

Sasuke closes his hand over Sakura's, trying to ignore the way she found his heart with practiced ease. Her head drops between his shoulder blades and he's acutely aware of each breath she takes. The sound catches when he loosens her fingers, but she doesn't resist. Sakura's hands fall back to her sides, but she doesn't move away. "Please."

The innocuous word could have been a bomb for the damage it does. Sasuke would collapse if he could. He'd crumble into Sakura's hands the way she wants him to, but the lines are clear, even if she's willing to ignore them. He owes her a response, but there aren't any words. He should have left this conversation to Naruto, but this is Sasuke's particular brand of torture. He deserves this and so much worse.

"I can't stay." Sasuke is proud that his voice doesn't shake. If anything, it sounds colder than it ever has. "I've been here too long already."

"You can stay until morning," Sakura counters and Sasuke's shoulders drop at the invitation in her tone. If she sees it, she doesn't press.

Sasuke considers the idea of staying, for even another hour, but he can't imagine any way that it doesn't turn into a disaster. He's dangerously close to surrendering to Sakura's logic, but he can't. _He can't_. If he slips up now, everything will have been for nothing. The past five years, the facade of lies that he's surrounded himself with will mean nothing.

"Or, I can go with you." Sakura says the words like they don't threaten the fabric of reality. The idea of pulling her away from Konoha, from her friends, her job, everything she loves-doesn't bear thinking about. Except, Sasuke can't help but selfishly consider it. She would hate it, subject to the village's needs and his whims. It's a sacrifice he can't imagine her paying, even though she doesn't realize it yet.

"Your life is here." The words are strong enough that Sasuke almost believes them.

Sakura makes a sound somewhere between a laugh and a cry, and despite everything, Sasuke can't help but face her. Pale tracks run down her cheeks, splashing down to darken her shirt. Before he can stop it, Sasuke's hand brushes the tears away. Sakura doesn't startle, doesn't even act surprised at the show of tenderness, and Sasuke curses himself for it.

"My life is with you," Sakura breathes in response. And damn if she doesn't sound like she believes it. He could never be worthy of that level of devotion.

There is only way to end this conversation, but Sasuke doesn't have the strength. Not again. His breath catches as his hand falls away, still damp with Sakura's tears. He wants to laugh, to point out that their relationship has always been built on her tears. If that isn't proof enough as to why he should turn away, Sasuke doesn't know what is. But he can't laugh, he can't turn away, he can't splinter Sakura again.

"I can't stay," Sasuke begins, grasping at straws of reason. "And, you can't go."

"Will you stop me?" Sakura asks, voice stronger than Sasuke imagined possible. The weakness and tears are nowhere to be found in her words. "I wasn't strong enough to follow you five years ago, but I am now. I won't let you cast me aside this time."

Sasuke wants to scream at the gods, or fate, or whatever brought him to this point. He never wanted to have to make this decision again; he's faced it too many times in the past.

Genjutsu is devastating in its simplicity, the way it preys on the mind's vulnerabilities. It's nothing for Sasuke to activate his sharingan and weave the simple lies that drop Sakura where she stands. He catches her, as gently as he ever has, and carries her bed. She doesn't fight the genjutsu, doesn't even seem aware of it.

Pulling the blankets over Sakura's body, Sasuke pauses long enough to brush his lips against the seal on her forehead. "One day you'll thank me for this," he whispers. Then, he's gone.


End file.
